13-05-2009

12-05-2009
a date of day that i forget to update my blog again. Actually i already have the prediction and know that i will forget to update my blog at this day. This morning i waked up by a call from my boss, i already enough of those stupid work and i don't want to return to the place. Online at 9am if i am not wrong, meadow absent today.. How is her, is she fine.. :( i do quite lots of thing today but i still can't really hypnotize myself. My facebook wall is full of the quiz i take. Today is so empty.. Did i mention something about (it is not that simple) wait a minute, hold on a second, i am typing my blog on phone. There are an touching scenes, just now i went to old town in cheras with my friend, we drink our tea there, when we are about to drive back to bryan house, mark noticed that he left his key at old town.. We are suggest to drive back and get back the key. It is not early and we are about to reach bryan house, only in front and thomas say he want to throw us down first but we all say, just go together. There are 5 of us here, unbreakable relationship, very strong. A relationship that we have is not simple to be build. I understand this very well. Not going to sleep tonight.. Blogging until morning and online to publish this blog, current time 4:18 AM (i understand that it is not simple, not giving up already, just..) hope that i can go out and search for a job successfully tomorrow. I am not going to wait for studying anymore, wasting time, why don't i get a job that can learn something for the use of my future. I really don't have direction anymore, straight away get a job quick, target, get a job before june. Frustated, what the hell, i will pinch you if i see you, scold you until cry, i mean it. Sorry. I want to punch my hand on wall until i feel pain or enough. I want to scream out loud like crazy and abnormal, yell with tears falling! F*ck my life of! Whoever that want to beat me up, come, you will be dead if you can't fight me down of i can sure that your head will bleed. Kill me if you can or you will be the one that killed. JOB! I need one. I want to punch hardly to the wall, i want to see the wound at my fist. I want to feel empty. I am home now, 4:45 AM not going to sleep. I feel so tired and exhausted, i can collapse if i run or do some exercise. I don't want to lost things that i like. My head is going to explode.. Feel crying but my tears stuck.. Can you answer me HOW ARE YOU! Dead! Feeling dizzy, need sleep. I don't want to see my parent wake up, i don't want to see my siblings wake up for school, i want to finish my blog but i don't have the time. I am feeling so down.. I need someone to accompany, not to talk, just someone with me. Me and my friend relationship are strong but they seen to have another gang already.. I am disqualified. I am alone, i saw a photo of their new gang friend in thomas desktop, it is damn sweet and great, more happier than five of us. I know, i have been disqualified.. Never mind this. Other things now. I think i really falled to you and it is 100 % true.. EXHAUSTED i don't want to delay this post! I want to done it before i sleep or online. Okay now, i am done.