last night happen something that is very awful, i feel very sad about it and i feel like crying, i don't know why i feel so no confidences to this relationship, maybe it is my first time on relationship. at very late time, me, ron, joey and carrien is in a conversation in msn, our chat is very normal at first, ron and joey is chatting about novel and me, i just keep on interrupting ron and joey chat. ron and joey haven't know that actually i am in love with carrien and she is my girlfriend, when we are on the middle of the conversation, ron and joey suddenly feel weird and noticed that me and carrien is weird. ron and joey suddenly say i like raven before then i like another girl again when they know i like carrien.. i don't mean to hide anything of myself and pass, i wish to tell her all my things too but i just don't have the time yet. i feel so relief after she forgives me . this morning, she send me few photo of herself, it is some photo that she snapped on chinese new year time, she tell me that she is fat and look ugly, if i really love her, i will never mind on how is her look. honestly, she look very mature and adult to me, my mother say the feeling can be different if we meet up. what i want is a confirmation of my feeling to her. i feel so happy and very touches because there are a girl love me so much. i hope that our feeling is real and our relationship can last forever. i am now your boyfriend, i am your dear, i am your lao gong.
last night when carrien is angry with me, ron and joey got help me say something good and hope that me and carrien will be okay. they say i will cry if she don't forgive me, the true is really i will cry but it is too shy to tell that. when carrien is on a chat with joey, carrien tell me that joey like me or something.. i really don't know that, what i know is she hate me so much. i hope that she is okay. in text world, i am very stupid and like making fun or disturbing, sometime i might offend people too, i am so sorry about that to all.
my parent, when did they start to be that stubborn and hard to talk with.. i already forget when is it. my parent never understand me from kid time, they don't know why i cry, why i angry, why i can study well and more. they care me but they care on wrong way. in my child age, there are too much of misunderstanding things happen, i will not forget it, why own children thinking and feeling also don't understand, i really don't have any idea about this. until no and today, everything is still same. i tell my parent i got a girlfriend already, i want to go genting with her family on wednesday, they say why so fast meet her then why go genting with her parent. my parent say, i don't have anything, shoes or shirt, all don't have, including money, my parent say no money don't think to have any girl first.. haih.. i know they got their reason and got its right. from what i know, they never say something that's is good, i mean example on my side or support my thinking and way, they never do or think that.
carrien tell me that she want to read my blog, hehe.. hope my blog is okay..
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i feel like actually you should be telling me early or showing me early, i feel a bit scare and unsure that we wouldn't get a long well, i never expect or think, how is my girlfriend in future plus i don't really mind if i like ;)
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